The Flying Kangaroo by Jim Eames

Author:Jim Eames
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Allen & Unwin
Published: 2015-09-24T16:00:00+00:00

Biddulph then describes how he gets the aircraft under control only to look out the window, ‘straight into the apoplectic face of Bill Forgan-Smith, ten metres away, flying in formation with me and trying not to stall as he eased the DC-3 past.’ Biddulph said the subsequent conversation in the chief pilot’s office was ‘fruity’.

As Biddulph worked his way through the Qantas pilot ranks via DC-4s, Constellations and finally 707s, even the achievement of reaching ‘Captain’ status provided the inevitable ‘Biddulph moment’. In those days, once a first officer had been selected for command level, he was paraded before director of flight operations Alan Wharton to be officially ‘knighted’.

Wharton, renowned for his dry sense of humour, later described greeting Biddulph when he arrived at his office with: ‘Christ, they’ve reached the bottom of the barrel this time.’

‘No, boss,’ replied Biddulph, ‘they just started a new barrel.’

The achievement of such rank didn’t seem to curtail Biddulph’s escapades, either in the air or on the ground. Having several days to spare during a lay-over in Rome he decided to take his whole crew to Napoli ‘to uplift some culture,’ as he later told Field. Becoming aware that a fabled collection of pornographic art could only be accessed by genuine researchers and academics, Biddulph left the bus outside the gallery in the persona of one ‘Professore Bindolpo’ travelling with his group of ‘studentees’.

Genuflecting and with clasped hands, they were duly accepted into the building by the abbot and all went well until the radio officer gave the game away when he made a lewd reference to a carved image of a soldier and a goat. They were promptly asked to leave.

Unfortunately the local BOAC representative in Rome filed a report on the incident and Biddulph once again found himself summoned before his chief pilot, this time in London, who opened the batting with ‘Do you know a Professor Bindolpo?’

‘I knew then I was dead,’ Biddulph later admitted.

But it was on the Kangaroo Route to London, where Qantas crews operated in close company with those of BOAC, that most of the Biddulph stories had their origins. These were the days when Qantas crews stayed at premises known as Speedbird Houses, BOAC-owned accommodation at night stops along the route.

Bringing some of the Mother Country’s best and brightest pilots down to size seems to have appealed to Biddulph’s colonial streak. When they discovered the British had erected a bar tent for their own exclusive use at Speedbird House in Karachi, Biddulph and Andy Young managed to collapse the guide ropes, leaving a bunch of BOAC pilots’ heads poking up through the roof.

On another occasion in Karachi a BOAC crew suddenly realised the waiter dressed in Arab robes and offering them camel steaks was our man Biddulph.

There’s also the story of the cold winter’s day at Speedbird House at Heathrow when the British pilots had their chairs strategically positioned around the fireplace, blocking the Qantas pilots from the warmth. A short time later Biddulph appeared dressed in the uniform of the cleaning staff.

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